Tuesday, July 29, 2008

Day 10 - (I seemed to have my days mixed up)

Well, as I write, my mom and sister are sleeping. Mom has had a good day – less pain and she was able to spend 2 hours at the hospital with Laurie. Aunt Rita even brought her pizza from Carabba’s on the way home from the hospital tonight! Aunt Rita is taking great care of them.

Poor Laurie has had so many tests today. She is exhausted. She had the Mag3 scan, and the results showed that all flow to and from the kidney were good. She then had another ultrasound and then the dreaded biopsy. She had to lay still from 4 hours after the biopsy – that is tough for anyone, much less Laurie. She was in better spirits tonight, she called me and we talked for a few minutes. She has not wanted to talk to anyone the last few days, so it was great to talk to her.

She received her Care Mail today and was reading it when I talked to Aunt Rita this afternoon. If you haven’t sent her one yet, we would love it if you could. She can get e-mailed through Shands Care Mail System. They will deliver the e-mails to her in her room. It is a really cool thing. You can send one to her at http://www.shands.org/Public/message/default.asp. Laura Stevens, Shands Gainesville on floor 95.

We hope to have answers in the morning as to what the biopsy showed and their next course of action. Please pray that the biopsy reveals the answers that they need and that Laurie continues to be a little more positive.

This is not about me
I have gotten such kind e-mails back from my friends, family and their friends about the blog. As God would have it, it seems to be ministering to others as they minister to us.

But, I need to set the record straight. These are NOT my words. I am a sinner just like everyone else in this dark world that we live in. But...by the grace of God I am saved. Although I do not have a Daddy anymore here on this earth, I have my heavenly father who created me and loves me NO MATTER WHAT I DO! Wow - that is why I picked the name for my blog "for the glory of God". This is why he created us, for his glory. It is what keeps me going - gives me peace that passes all understanding, and JOY!

So please read these words, and understand that the sentiment from me is not my doing. On my own, I would be mad at Laurie and think "Well, she did this to herself so she will just have to deal with the consequences". Laurie had Anorexia from age 12 to around 30, so the kidney failure is a by product of that illness. She has done remarkably well in the past few years but our relationship has not been a very close one. I hope so much that that will change after this.

But God doesn't tell me to turn my back from her…
Galatians 5:13-26
For you were called to freedom brothers. Only do not use your freedom as an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.
For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself". But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another.
But I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. For the desires of the flesh are against the Spirit, and the desires of the Spirit are against the flesh, for these are opposed to each other, to keep you from doing the things you want to do.
But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law. Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy,[fn4] drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law. And those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires.
If we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit. Let us not become conceited, provoking one another, envying one another.

God’s word is awesome. That is my prayer for Laurie. To realize who created her, loves her and wants her to walk with him.

On that note, here is an e-mail that I got from my friend, Ann:

"The entries in your blog over the last week have ministered to me – thank you for sharing not just the details, but how God is working."

"Today’s entry reinforced something we shared several months ago during your dad’s illness:

  • The purpose of prayer is that we get ahold of God, not of the answer.
  • The purpose of prayer is not to get what we want, but to become what God wants.

Here is something from my devotional today that I don’t remember reading before – that "The clouds are the dust of His feet" ( Nahum 1:3 ) I forward your emails to Mike, and we are continuing to pray."

July 29, 2008
Do You See Jesus in Your Clouds?
Behold, He is coming with clouds . . . —Revelation 1:7
In the Bible clouds are always associated with God. Clouds are the sorrows, sufferings, or providential circumstances, within or without our personal lives, which actually seem to contradict the sovereignty of God. Yet it is through these very clouds that the Spirit of God is teaching us how to walk by faith. If there were never any clouds in our lives, we would have no faith. "The clouds are the dust of His feet" ( Nahum 1:3 ). They are a sign that God is there. What a revelation it is to know that sorrow, bereavement, and suffering are actually the clouds that come along with God! God cannot come near us without clouds— He does not come in clear-shining brightness.
It is not true to say that God wants to teach us something in our trials. Through every cloud He brings our way, He wants us to unlearn something. His purpose in using the cloud is to simplify our beliefs until our relationship with Him is exactly like that of a child— a relationship simply between God and our own souls, and where other people are but shadows. Until other people become shadows to us, clouds and darkness will be ours every once in a while. Is our relationship with God becoming more simple than it has ever been?
There is a connection between the strange providential circumstances allowed by God and what we know of Him, and we have to learn to interpret the mysteries of life in the light of our knowledge of God. Until we can come face to face with the deepest, darkest fact of life without damaging our view of God’s character, we do not yet know Him.
". . . they were fearful as they entered the cloud" (Luke 9:34). Is there anyone except Jesus in your cloud? If so, it will only get darker until you get to the place where there is "no one anymore, but only Jesus . . ." (Mark 9:8 ; also see Mark 2-7 ).

Love, H

Books I Am Reading

  • Humility by CJ Mahaney
  • Praying Life by Paul Miller